I remember that I promised not to be myself, that seems like such a long time ago. That little slip is easy, and here I am, returning to old habits that are not neccesarily for my betterment. I know how hard it could be. Habits are like webs, you're blind to this entanglement. No one likes being of their comfort zone after all. I think I will be strong for once. I've certainly had enough dutch courage this weekend (but not in the way that you think. I am full of homemade cherry wine).

I will smile and smile and all this heat will dissipate like wind swept ethanol.

Slipped and dropped off the earth for a while. (Literally, I will be posting photos of my twisted ankle very soon --tennis ball-sized). Nothing very much have been happening, which frustrates me to no end, but it's friday night. it's a breather. The rain is falling very softly. If you know me, you know I love drizzling rain.

I took a walk the other day. To Carriageworks, an popular indie(?) exhibition/performance space for upcoming artists built in an unwanted warehouse that used to store trains (hence, Carriageworks). I was there for a community project, but it turned out that they were auditioning for So You Think You can Dance Australia. =)

Here are photos. I've gone film. I'm loving it, costs and hassle and grain otherwise.

                             
                                         

So. How is everyone? =)

I know it's a bit of a shock to see me posting after a long hiatus (i haven't died, just been busy with the shit i call PhD.................. and with that, HI, FML.).

but I went to see Ben Folds at the Sydney Opera house on sunday and today, I'm still tingling, my blood is boiling. He never fails to be awesome. We wrote in song request and he gets to picked songs from the basket of papers that literally made the concert hall a mess, managed to forget lyrics with sheepish smiles and crack the most inappropriate jokes and Almost Got Kicked Out by Management By Playing Something As Crass As BITCHES AIN'T SHIT. lol. Yep, still Ben, not in pubs but no less awesome for it.

This song he doesn't play very often solo, but he did on sunday. The first time I heard it live was with Melbourne Symphony Orchestra. I was with hooli , I believe? I remembered crying a little at the end of it. This song was so made for the orchestra.

This is with WASO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z983gjrRgEM

For all of you who didn't make it to Ben Folds.

"I'm in need of music that would flow
Over my fretful, feeling finger-tips,
Over my bitter-tainted, trembling lips,
With melody, deep, clear, and liquid-slow.
Oh, for the healing swaying, old and low,
Of some song sung to rest the tired dead,
And over quivering limbs,
dream flushed to glow!

There is a magic made by melody:
A spell of rest, and quiet breath, and cool
Heart, that sinks through fading colors deep
To the subaqueous stillness of the sea,
And floats forever in a moon-green pool,
Held in the arms of rhythm and of sleep."

- Sonnet (1928) / E. Bishop

Happy it's the weekend, relatively nonproductive but exciting, emotional rollercoaster sparkling weekend.

i'm psyched for the surry hills fest! who is!

because i did too! even if i have to go back to work today and am in excrutiating pain from my endometriosis and anyway, guessed where i went for easter! three days quite cold, but still sunny, we were quite lucky. most of you have probably seen these on facebook, but if not, here you go! thought i'll contribute since i made  _leareth post stuff even when she's down with the sniffles! go give her some love.

port stephens!


Seagulls! Lots of them at the bays and the ports!
( snip! )

there was a full moon, i was kinda lucky =)

Three posts from me in a day! Aren't you lovely people sick of me yet? Anyway, we have a goldfish. Yes, she's a relatively new addition to the household, and no, I don't knoe why we have a goldfish when we already have a cat, but you know. Crowds are fun. (Yes, she's still alive after a few weeks and not digested in a feline intestinal tract.) and Yes, she's really named after that scary female wife of one of Phillipine's PM. (But I sikritly call her Nemo because she's totally missing one fin on one side)


Imelda, also called Nemo, the goldfish.

( cut for more gold! )

I have a dream. Of am army of Teddy Bears, fallen from the sky into my palms.


Here they lie, still under touched by human breath. (or until eaten anyway, then they try to run away)


**note to self, abstain from sugar.

Melbourne gets all the good gigs! *flails helplessly*

I have moved recently, One hour away from work, so exhausted at night when I come home, but the weekends more than make up for it. I have a balcony where I can sit with my cup of tea, my book, (the cat), and watch the world go by. It took me a while to settle down, to get into the flow of things.


I suspect this guy had a lot to do with it. Her name is Starla, and she is the household kitty.

( the good parts comes inside a box, tied with a lavender ribbon. )



Starla again. Guardian of my emotional welfare.

is a good number right? so yeah, this year end huh.

you've wanted so long that you are over that wanting.

Con-fucking-gratulations America!

For those of you who had never seen the whirling dervishes before, they originate from Konya, Turkey and the whirling as a form of remembrane for allah.

They can go on for hours, after a while you start to wonder if everything is rooted in reality.

and the prelude I'm drinking.
 
the dogs in europe are plentiful and you're not allowed to bring them home with you

why hello there, why don't you hold still while i get my net. . .

We always yearn for approval, that makes us vulnerable to a lot of things.

I have barely made a den in that 8gigs of european photos I'm meant to process, even with the 4 gigs of turkey photos that I've lost after my CD made an echoing crack that resounded forever in my brain's sound system. There were a lot of tears and angst and blood that day, it's a lot of precious I've lost of the country that is my absolute absolute favourite.

She found my camera's eye at the back of the topkapi palace during a hot wave of air that they call a breeze in turkey. We were overlooking the golden horn that divided istanbul (and the whole of turkey) into asia and europe. She is so pretty, isn't she? Abide by me, there's so much more to come.

I so totally have a balcony I can jump out of. 

my PCR doesn't work because there's not DNA polymerase in it! only primers! guys guys, that means i don't need to remake my primers or look up ten thousand other strategies!

*prays fervently to PCR gods*

She weights probably my weight and she thinks she's cute when she runs off with my aunt's house shoe.

She also thinks I think having her saliva all over me and her stepping on my foot all the time. Silly puppy.